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  • Alexa

Just Enough

I just baked one hundred and one snickerdoodle cookies.

I finally decided to take the butter and eggs out two hours before starting and then when it came to putting the cookies in the oven I finally decided to under bake them. Now I finally have soft and thick snickerdoodle cookies like the recipe said they would be. I have made these so many times before, and this is the first time they have ever come out like this.

You're probably wondering, "uh Alexa, hi, it's been MONTHS and here you are back blogging talking about room temperature ingredients and under baked snickerdoodle cookies."

That's right. Here I am.

Same old stuff. It's May. It's food allergy and mental health awareness month. April was autism awareness, no, acceptance month, and I love that. I love the idea of acceptance in place of awareness.

So for this May I decide to accept my food allergies and mental illnesses. Once again.

I think I've accepted them before, but sometimes the struggle is still real. I hate my food allergies and anxiety sometimes. I hate when I let them take over and control the situation and I'm left in the background screaming inside "no no no don't let the food allergies and anxiety win."

The panic attacks are real. The nerves about not knowing what I'll be able to eat are real. My food allergies and anxiety are real. Stop saying I'm making it up, being ridiculous and that I'm too much to handle.

Am I too much? Are people annoyed and overwhelmed by my food allergies and anxiety?

Previously I feared not being enough, and now I fear being too much.

I am not too much. I am just enough.

Yes I have food allergies and anxiety and they aren't going anywhere. My food allergies and anxiety are a part of me, but they are not all of me. I consist of many more things.

I feel like I keep saying the same things over and over again, and yet I need to. I need to keep reminding myself I am worthy, I am lovable and capable, I am enough as I am. I don't need to pretend, or change, or be someone I'm not.

I accept myself with my food allergies and anxiety. I accept that I am just enough.


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